Milestones

I hope this doesn’t come off as an ageist, snooty, and ableist complaint, because I’m trying to just explore my reactions to a situation that has developed over the past few months. I’m graduating from college this weekend and getting married two days after. My grandmother who, due primarily to restricted mobility and communication difficulties, spends most of her time at home, is absolutely thrilled about the wedding and, in her words, cannot wait to attend. Graduation is a different story. I completely understand not wanting to attend a long and often boring graduation ceremony that doesn’t feature a loved one very much (particularly in comparison to a wedding). I can also appreciate that making the effort to attend either event is physically and socially difficult (as much as someone can without experiencing it firsthand). Yet the principle of it still bothers me. Because there isn’t much of a gap between my graduation and my wedding, I think I’ve been made acutely aware of how much more emphasis people have placed on my wedding than on my graduation. Obviously committing to marriage is a significant step in society, and I do think my decision to marry is going to be one of the most impactful decisions in my life. But I also think that attending and graduating college is a huge privilege and milestone that will forever shape my experience.

My experience with my grandmother has prompted me to think about the effort I’ve put into both milestones, the amount of thought and prayer I’ve put into preparing for both events, and the amount of support I’ve been given, and the value I’m placing on both higher education and marriage. I realize I have so much to celebrate and that I can enjoy each celebration without comparison or concern about those who are celebrating with me.